Even the bartender felt bad for me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
