I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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