i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize