All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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