tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Come share oat with me in your robe
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