these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
