Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.

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(818): View more from California

That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors

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(802): View more from Vermont

he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.

(1-802): View more from Vermont

it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.

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(912): View more from Georgia

thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.

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(813): View more from Florida

Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.

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(913): View more from Kansas

This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity

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(503): View more from Oregon

I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now

(503): View more from Oregon

Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea

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(404): View more from Georgia

I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.

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