i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
