38 yer olds are good kisserssss
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
