I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize