In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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