i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
