I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
