just tell him i said nine months
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize