Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
