what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
