I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
