hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
