Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your cock deserves a montage
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
