I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My vagina just recognized that song.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
