Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
