She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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