is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize