Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize