is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
smell my finger.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
