he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
