Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize