Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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