It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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