I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
