I'm going to jail i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
