Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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