He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
