ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
