best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
