he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
