were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
