Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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