Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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