I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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