I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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