You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
