I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
