The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
