I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fuck appropriateness.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Even my vagina gasped.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
