You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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