id be glad to
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
