Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
