He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
