how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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