He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
