You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
