Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize