I can text with my tongue
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
