We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
