you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
