I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
