AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
