I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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