Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
