We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
