wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize