Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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