Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
