Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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