definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
