yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
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