and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
