giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
