ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
