why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
