I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
