i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This house was built for laser tag.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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