Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
