God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
