Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
