i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
love makes seman taste better
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He shit in the fireplace
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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