pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
