I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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