God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
